How to Discipline a Child

-by Mousumi Mukherjee

–Reading Time – 7 min Approx

–Edited by – Srishti Bhattacharyya

“Dolly, very good! It is great that you shared your chocolates with your brother. I truly appreciate your act”, remarked Mrs. Bajaj.

“Thank you, mom! It is you who has taught me the innate joy of sharing things with others,” replied Dolly.

Indeed, the pleasure of sharing things with other people is immense. But today, very few parents succeed in making their children realize this truth. Most parents, no doubt, struggle to enforce discipline and good behavior in their kids but they are rarely satisfied. When they fail, they become more rigid and start punishing their children, and the situation becomes more severe. As a result, they never get the desired result. On the other hand, their kids turn more whimsical and bad-mannered day by day. They start disobeying their parents and elders and become undisciplined.

So now the question is, if scolding a child makes him more undisciplined, how to discipline a child? What can be the way to make him well-mannered? These concerns revolve in the mind of every nervous and anxious parent whose kids are turning disobedient every day. So let’s proceed to discuss the solutions to those issues that often depress most parents and also explore the ways to discipline a child

How to discipline a child:

Honestly, the truth is that a child follows discipline only when his parents, instead of chiding, politely set before him his limits with proper reasoning. He will behave well and become more obedient when his parents praise him for his good deeds and provide them with reasons for not doing the deeds that are deemed as bad. When they explain to their child the difference between right and wrong and why they are so, kids will understand better. What you should do as a parent is to discern the mental setup of your child and then act accordingly.

Now, how can you know your child’s mind set up, and how to discipline a child after inferring his psychology?

To get through the minds of your kids, you have to become their best friend. If children have trust issues with their parents, they will never talk to them freely. Parents have to befriend their kids to such an extent that they can easily confide in them about everything. Through friendship, parents can teach them the importance of discipline and good manners. One must remember that as parents, they must bring their kids on the right track. Punishment can never be a remedy for it. On the contrary, parents must try to find out different ways to discipline a child without hitting. For getting more knowledge about how to discipline a child, please read further.

Ways to discipline a child without hitting:

There are several means to discipline a child without raising your hand on them. The most vital among them is showing your manners before your children. Kids learn the things that they watch other people doing before them. So, If you can show your child your own discipline and good behavior, you can expect them to imitate the same.

Therefore, parents must always try to showcase their good side in front of their kids. Otherwise, their aggressive behavior can turn their children more hostile. And as parents, it will be their discredit.

Anyhow, we cannot deny that school is also a place where our kids learn discipline. But sadly, many parents, blind in the love of their kids, do not support the teachers who point out the mistakes or rowdy behavior of their kids. This is harmful to their kids because they take it for granted and assume that they have their parents’ support in this and carry on with their bad manners. Parents should understand that love for their children is good, however, blind love will turn their children more unruly.

Among various ways to discipline a child without hitting, another powerful way is to applaud the good features of your kid. The applause of their parents will encourage the kids to do more good things, and this will automatically steer their direction to the path of discipline and good manners.

How to discipline a child with ADHD:

Some children suffer from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. As they are more charged with energy than the other kids, teaching them discipline is challenging for their parents. So one may wonder, how to discipline a child with ADHD? Of course, it is patience that can make the parents of these children win over the challenge. Parents of such a child must show immense patience and pay them favorable attention. They should encourage the kid and applause them for their effort. They should give their child a time-out when needed and shower him with their love and support after it. Being forceful for the child’s mild misbehavior may further worsen the crisis.

Parents must infer their ADHD-stricken child’s condition and discipline them accordingly. They should illustrate to their child that if they listen to them and continue with their good behavior, he will get a reward for that. All these things will surely bring a positive change in an ADHD-stricken child’s behavior.

How to discipline a child that won’t listen:

As a parent, it is one’s mission to discipline his/her kid, even though he refuses to heed him/her. Parents should show their affection to their children and explain to them lovingly the proper behavior. For instance, they can tell their child that the proper behavior that a good child should show include –

• They should never speak to anyone harshly and always listen to each other’s words with respect.
• Always take care of one another.
• Always share things among themselves,
• Never snatch anything from someone and many more.

Once the child discerns these rules, they will also try to follow them to get more love and appreciation from their family.

Parents can also try another trick to make their kids listen to them. They must not punish their child upfront but boldly tell him about the outcome if he doesn’t heed them and breaks any of the behavioral rules set by the parents. For example, they can tell their child that they will stop giving him pocket money for a week; or they can also warn them that they will not make their favorite dish for five days as a cost for his deed. No doubt, on doing this the child will never break the rules again and will stick to discipline.

At what age does a child understand consequences?

How much does a child adhere to discipline and how much do they understand the consequences of breaking the rules depends on the child’s age? The child can be an infant, a kid, a pre-school student, or a school-goer.

Babies never know such things as discipline. Whatever they do, they do it for their fun and joy. If your baby is slapping you on your cheek, they are not doing so to insult you. They don’t know the difference between good and bad yet. If you try the trick of explaining consequences to your baby, they will never understand. Instead of doing it, try to move your baby’s hand gently over your cheek and make him realize that he ought to do this instead of slapping on your cheek. You might have to do it repeatedly as babies have a short memory.

Toddlers chiefly battle with their emotions and feelings of frustration and irritation. That is because their social and personal abilities have just begun to evolve at this period. As a parent, one must recognize their emotions and gift them with a calm setting. With the tenderness of their love parents can lead them to the way of discipline.

Preschoolers are those who have attained the age of three years. From this age, they begin to comprehend which behavior will be acceptable to their family and which are not. You can start teaching your child from this age about discipline and good conduct. You can clarify their behavioral limitation at this age. Setting thresholds for their behavior will help them to learn discipline fast.

School-goers often know what discipline is. They usually know how to constrain their behavior at various places like home, school, relative’s home, etc. What their parents need to do is merely remind them about discipline now and then.

Rewards for kids:

Gifts are a great lure to make your child obey. Children love to get small gifts or presents from their loved ones. When they are not listening to their parents or other elders they can only try to lure them with small presents or gifts. They will find that the kids are happily paying attention to everything they say or completing every task before the deadline. If small gifts can do the magic, why go for punishments for such little kids?

Final words:

So, from the above, we can say that no child in this world comes disciplined. It is the job of their parents and elders to train them with their effort. But, rebuking and beating very rarely work. It is love and good conduct that does the wonder as kids emulate the same demeanor done by their parents. So, whatever behavioral trait good parents want to teach to their child, they must follow it by themselves, and their child will learn the same. Therefore, if any parent is frustrated and is curious about how to discipline a child, they only need to follow the above tips and they will never again complain that their child is undisciplined.

-by Mousumi Mukherjee

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