–by Srishti Bhattacharyya
–Reading Time – 24min Approx
Abhay sat on his bed by the window. From his room on the 13th floor, the view of the city below him was mesmerizing. It was raining outside. The sky was groaning and thundering as the raindrops hit the streets hard and fast. His window wall was the thing he loved the most about his room.
It fed his love for staring at the night sky and gazing at the stars. Even though the increasing pollution did not allow him to see many stars, it brought peace to him; and his parents, seeing that they were both working parents and earned enough to afford it, did not say no to their loving younger son.
Abhay’s older brother, only three years older than him, walked into his room without knocking, reminding Abhay once again, how his brother loved annoying him. Arav and Abhay, the two brothers shared everything with each other. There was no secret between them. This was a promise they both made to each other as teens. The promise was so important to them that Arav was the first one to find out that Abhay is gay. Abhay had pretended that it didn’t matter what Arav thought about it even though inside he was dying of nervousness. He loved his brother, and it would have broken his heart if he had reacted negatively. But fortunately for him, Arav had been very accepting of it, which made the love between the two brothers grow even more.
“So today huh?” Arav said as he settled on the corner of his bed, leaning his back against the wall.
“Yes, today. I cannot put this off anymore,” Abhay answered.
At 21, Abhay was in his first relationship and he loved the guy. Parth, the boyfriend was 22.
They had been dating for two years now and both had come to a conclusion that their parents needed to know about them. Abhay always wanted to tell his parents, but the fear of how they might react always held him back. They had been pretty supporting of same-sex relationships every time the topic came up, but isn’t it different when it’s someone in your own family?
“Well, in that case, they will be here in half an hour.” Arav said. Abhay didn’t respond. The nerves were getting the best of him, his heartbeat was getting faster and his breathing was turning rapid too. Arav felt his brother’s discomfort and he got up. Turning around the bed, he sat by his brother.
For a while Arav didn’t say anything. They worked like that, any time one of them would be stressed, just having the other one beside them calmed them down. They were truly the best of friends. When Arav felt Abhay had calmed down a bit, he bumped his brother’s shoulder, making the latter smile, “What are you thinking so much? Your brain’s going to overdrive, it needs rest.”
“I just,” Abhay paused, his voice was thin, and it cracked at the end, but he stopped.
Taking a deep breath, he tried again, “I just cannot stop thinking about what I’ll do if they don’t accept it, accept me.” He corrected.
Arav couldn’t fathom what his brother was going through. They both had such a good relationship with their parents that they shared everything, except this one tiny detail, which actually wasn’t very tiny.
“Knowing them, yes they will be,” Arav said. He was choosing his words carefully as he didn’t want to hurt his brother. But this was such a big thing. “However,” Abhay turned his head to look at him, the watery eyes of his little brother broke his heart, but he continued, “Even if they don’t, we will have time to convince them. They are reasonable people, they will see that this is just like any other relationship and it will be fine.”
Abhay took a deep breath and exhaled shakily. Arav put a hand on the back of his brother’s neck and made him look at his eyes, “It will be fine. You will be fine.” Saying this, he pulled him in for a hug. A few hours later, Abhay sat on the couch as total silence prevailed over the four members of the family. The parents sat on the sofa facing Abhay as he sat still on front of them while observing his parents expressions. Arav, stood leaning by the wall, his arms folded in front of his chest as he observed the expression of all the three members of his family.
“Since… since when did you know?” Mira, their mother asked.
“Five or six years now,” Abhay said in a low, fragile voice. He didn’t know he’d actually be so scared.
“And you didn’t tell us?”
“Arav knew.”
Mira looked at Arav, he stood straight now and raised both his arms as if to say what can I do. He said, “It was his secret to tell, mom. Don’t look at me like that.”
Mira was going to say something when Samir, their father, spoke up, “Abhay are you sure?”
Mira looked back at her son, waiting for him to answer, “Dad, I’ve known since I was fifteen. I would have gotten over it if it was a phase.”
“Abhay, it can just be a phase. You might not understand it.” Arav looked at his father with a face drained of blood and his mouth open. Even if he wasn’t sure about his mother, he was sure that his father wouldn’t be one to deny it. What was going on?
“Samir,” Mira started but he stopped her.
“So, is this how it works now? You say you are okay with same-sex relationship but when it’s about your son you say it’s just a phase?” Abhay said as he stood up.
This is not good, Arav thought; his brother was getting defensive now.
“Son…”
“No dad,” both the parents stood up too and Arav took a step towards his brother, “If you have a problem with me being gay, say it to my face directly. Do not insult me by saying that it’s just a phase. You can’t do that to me.” Abhay raised his voice.
“Okay, Abhay, calm down…” Arav walked towards his brother.
“No, don’t tell me to calm down. I had to make sure I had every bit of courage I needed, for days to say it to my parents, and now he says it’s a phase? Six years of a phase? I know I am attracted to men, dad. It is not a phase. It is me.”
“Do you really think I won’t accept you, son?” Samir asked as he stood right in front of his son now. Abhay stayed quiet but his father could clearly see the tears in his eyes ready to drip. He felt horrible about saying that to his son, but he had to make sure. “Abhay,” he said and held his son’s shoulders, “I love you, and I am proud of who are you. The fact that you are gay doesn’t change what we think of you, son. You will always be my boy.”
“Then…?” Abhay whispered but he didn’t finish the sentence.
“The world is a cruel place, son. Yes, the people’s mind-set is changing but how many people are supportive? I just wanted to make sure. This means a lifetime of getting judged by people, from both who don’t mean anything to you and from people who might be important. I got scared for a second, of all the pain you might have to endure.”
“I know how I feel, dad. And I am ready for this. I know it will be tough, but I am.”
“Then that’s all that matters,” Mira said as she stood by her husband. She smiled at him and then looked back at her sons, “You two will always be the most precious humans to us, no matter what you two do.”
Arav patted his brother on the back which made Abhay laugh loudly as he too looked at his family. He couldn’t explain how grateful he was for this family.
After a very emotional and uplifting family hug, they all had now finally settled down on the sofa watching a movie on Netflix. Abhay had texted Parth saying that his parents knew and it was all good and now was waiting to hear back from Parth. Samir had noticed how often his son was checking his phone and he couldn’t hold back the words, “You know, now would be a good time to know if you have a boyfriend too.”
Abhay just looked at his father with a smile. He was still worried but since the topic has come out, it’s better to let them know right? They had known Parth as a friend who came over sometimes, so they knew him. It couldn’t be bad right?
Abhay only said one word, “Parth.”
Samir chuckled and Mira smiled, “Of course. Now I know I wasn’t imagining all those stolen glances and winks.”
“Dad!” Abhay exclaimed as Arav choked on his own spit and started laughing. Mira was just about to say something when they heard loud knocks on the door. The whole family sat still, surprised for a while because it was still raining outside. Arav was the one sitting closer to the door. He groaned saying how it is always him who has to get up and that he’s stuck with the laziest family of them all as he went to open the door.
His eyes widened as he looked at the soaked boy standing there in front of their door.
Parth looked numb as he just stared at Arav. Abhay was by his brother’s side immediately as his eyes fell on his boyfriend. Their parents looked equally shocked to see him in such acondition.
“Parth? What are you doing here?” Abhay asked as he guided Parth in. Parth took a few steps but he stopped. He looked around at everyone. He knew they knew about Abhay but he didn’t know if they knew about them together. But at that point he didn’t care.
“Parth, son, what’s wrong?” Mira asked as she worriedly observed him.
Samir remained quiet. He had an idea what had happened but even the thought of it was so horrible that he didn’t know what to say.
Mira’s motherly voice acted as the trigger as Parth broke down in tears. Heart breaking sobs broke through him as he fell on the floor. Abhay had instantly wrapped his arms around the boy.
Arav just stared astonishingly at the scene unfolding in front of him. Samir and Mira also stood there, not knowing what to say, Mira had her hand covering her mouth which was wide open from what she was seeing.
“They… they k–kicked me o–out,” Parth sobbed as he held on tightly to Abhay.
Parth was always the one who was well organised and in control. Seeing him like this, it broke his heart. He didn’t know what to say. So, he just held on to him; that was the best way he could show him that he still had him.
Mira and Samir shared a look, they knew that Parth can always stay with them. They would not leave him homeless.
“They t-told me to leave their h-house, that I am n-not their son a-anymore.” He looked at his boyfriend, “I lost my family, Abhay. I lost my home.”
Parth cried as he held on to Abhay for dear life. Abhay was the only one Parth had now.
Arav knelt beside them. He kept a hand on Parth’s shoulder making the guy look at him, “You can stay here, Parth. You’re always welcome here.” Arav moved back but the boy was still crying. Samir, looking at the scene, could not help but think, is this what his son was worried about too for six whole years?
Is this the fear that all those people who fall in love with the same gender feel? Is it fair? This fear…. for falling in love? For something they cannot even control?
–by Srishti Bhattacharyya
